Thomas Leonard's words

Thomas Leonard is known as the Father of Coaching - business, life and executive coaching.  He founded CoachU one of the, if not, the first Coaching school.  One of CoachU's best known graduates is Cheryl Richardson who wrote many books, including Take Time for Your Life and Stand Up for Your Life.

I thought about Thomas today and remembered one of his "life cleaning" mantra:  Step over nothing.  What Thomas meant is address issues as they occur.  Stop pretending that it's OK.  Stop excusing the unacceptable.  Be real.  Be honest about how you feel. Risk showing up as yourself.  This applies to the neighbour who does not return what was borrowed, or the friend or committee member who does not do her share.

By all means, do stop and think about you you will address the issue.  Learn to speak in "I".  Of this does not apply if you deal with violent people  In that case, you need to think of your safety first.  Consult with the appropriate services.

Coaching challenge:  Write down everything you have been stepping over in the past year, past 2 years maybe or even more.  Develop a strategy to take care of each item on your list.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Canada's Coach

Success and Fearless Living Coach for Women 40+
Life and Wellness Coach for Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

Canada's Coach old blog -

I just remembered that my old (2004-2008) blog www.http://www.canadascoach.blogspot.com is still available.  You can find a number of articles which I hope you will find useful.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Canada's Coach

Success and Fearless Living Coach for Women 40+
Life and Wellness Coaching for Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

Moderation

This Christmas, void stuffing yourself - leave that to the turkey.  Pace yourself with the wine - drink one full glass of water before each glass of wine.  To avoid eating or drinking too much, stick to water before the meal and limit wine to 1 or 2 five oz glasses.

Remember how you good you will feel tomorrow morning if you practice moderation.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Canada's Coach

Life and Wellness Coaching for Women
Success and Fearless Living Coach for Women over 40

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

Quick tips to avoid gaining weight during the Holidays

A little over a month of sleeps and Santa will be here.  To avoid getting more pounds along with your  presents, here are some tips.

1) Weigh yourself today to get a baseline weight.   Then weigh yourself at least every week until the Holidays - the numbers on the scale can help you stay on track.  It's easier to lose 2 pounds than to discover you have gained 5 or more.

2) Get your water bottle out and drink at least one litre - around 32 ounces of water daily.  Start with one 8 oz glass of warm water with some lemon juice as soon as you get up in the morning.  Sip it slowly before you have your first cup of coffee.  Then drink a glass half an hour before lunch and dinner.

3)  Eat your veggies - at least 3 cups, well packed, of raw vegetables, ideally the fiber rich ones every day- brocoli, cauliflower,cabbage, celery, zucchini and have big salads too with tomatoes, lettuce and cucumber (all filled with water).  Be mindful of how much dressing you use.  I always make my own salad dressing: olive oil, balsamic vinegar,a drop of french mustard, fresh garlic, fresh herbs like basil.  Shake well and measure 1 tsp.  A little of something good goes a  long way.  Or use lemon juice instead of vinegar.

4) Do not skip meals because you expect to have a big dinner.  Eat more veggies earlier in the day with a bit of

4)  Eat an apple when you have the 4 p.m. hunger.  It's full of fiber.  Add 3 walnuts to fill up even more.

4) In the next two days, no dessert.  You will most likely have a chance for dessert on Christmas day.

5) In the next two days, go to bed before 10:30 p,m.  If you are asleep, you won't want a midnight snack.

6) In the next two days, move - move a lot.  Go running, swimming, skiing, walking.  Shovel (if like me you live in Snow Country).  Put some music and dance.  Or wash the floors.  Do anything but make sure you move.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

from the Coach who will follow the above guidelines


Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Canada's Coach

Sucess and Fearless Living Coach for Women
Life and Wellness Coaching for Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

Christmas and stress - 7 tips to help you

Only six sleeps until Christmas morning.  With the shopping and the cooking and for some traveling, and the weather which can turn meany, and maybe too much partying, too much food or drinks, or maybe feeling left out without enough invitations, The Season is not always how it's portrayed in the movies.

I thought about some ways I remain (or remained) calm at this time of year.

1) When my children were young, they got a Stocking at Christmas and I gave the gifts at New Year.  This had a lot of advantages - making the gift giving longer and allowing me to buy some gifts on sale between Christmas and New Year.  It is a custom from my French Canadian heritage.  I loved it.

2) Beware of envy.  Don't compare what the Jones spend on gifts or on the trips they take.  Count your blessings - from your family, your health, your job, even if you only appreciate the income, your home, even if it's not the ideal house - you have a roof over your head,  If you feel you have nothing to be grateful for, visit a shelter, or a hospital.

3) Plan, plan, plan.  Plan your time until Christmas - what needs to be done, when.  Use a project management model to help get you there on time with all tasks completed.

4) Keep your good habits alive - find time to get to the gym or the pool. Sleep enough, eat those veggies and don't forget breakfast.  Make sure the kids also continue their routine: sleep, play, meals.  If you slack on what you think is important for them, they will suffer and then you will, because they will be more tired, and a tired child if often a difficult child.

5) Teach your children to be generous to the less fortunate, especially at this time of year.  Take some money
and ask them to participate to support a charity, be it the Snow Suit Fund or other agencies.  Volunteer and bring the kids to help. This may just make them less demanding.

6) Plan some outdoors activity for the family - it's good for the body and it's also good for the soul.

7) Lower your standards for cleanliness - the floors don't have to be so clean you can eat on them.  Nobody will want to eat off your floors anyway.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Canada's Coach

Success and Fearless Living Coach for Women
Life and Wellness Coaching for Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

Are you alone for the Holiday Season?

While images of happy families show up on tv and just about everywhere at this time of year, we all know someone who will be alone or grieving.  The families of Newtown who have lost a little one or a mother, sister, wife will not do much celebration this year.

But it's not necessary to have experienced such a tragedy to not feel like celebrating.  If you have lost a family member this year, Christmas will be different.  If you are newly separated, Christmas will be different. If the kids spend Christmas with the other parent, Christmas will be different.

What can you do to take care of yourself if you are alone.  Here are some ideas:

1) Invite one or two friends over and cook a good meal
2) Volunteer to serve a meal at a shelter
3) Plan an activity in nature: skiing, snow-shoeing, hiking, alone or with a friend
4) Use the day to paint your living room (I did this the first year I was separated and the kids were with their dad)
5) Call family members you have not seen for a while, invite them or invite yourself
6) Have an open house mid-afternoon for friends and neighbours
7) Offer to babysit a friend's, neighbour's or family member's child for a couple of hours so the parents can go ski, read or have a quiet meal
8) Make the most of the day to read that book you've been meaning to read for so long
9) Clean a closet and make a package for the St. Vincent de Paul or other agency that accepts used clothing
10)Finally, last but not least, make a list of everything you are grateful for.  Everything.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Canada's Coach

Success and Fearless Living Coach for Women
Life and Wellness Coaching for Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

There's still time to ask for help

Nine sleeps until Christmas.  How are you doing?  While there are changes which may be hard to implement this year, there are some you can make to insure you do not wake up frazzled on Boxing Day.

Let's start with change possibilities for next year.

What about drawing names among adult family members and you only have to buy ONE gift for the person whose name you draw.  In fact, this is one change we will implement in my family next year.  And I will suggest we pick names by July 1st - each person writing at least 2 choices on the wish list.  This will give everybody a good six months to find the gift.  Of course, we can give each other gifts at other times during the year, but the pressure will be lowered at Christmas.

What changes can you still put in place for this Christmas?  Ask everybody to pitch in and bring a dish.  Ask kids to participate, according to their age, both to decorate the tree, shovel the driveway, clean the house, do a load of wash, help cooking or take care of the younger ones.  Of course, if your partner normally waits for you to do it all or most of it, it's time to delegate.  Or call for Chinese food if that's what would make you happy.  Or pizza.  Whatever helps you enjoy the time too.

But if you want turkey, there are many ways to enjoy a great family meal without too much effort.  A turkey cooks very tender at 300F overnight.  Potatoes can cook with the turkey or bake in the microwave.  Veggies can roast with some garlic and olive oil when the turkey comes out of the oven.  And a good ice cream is a pretty easy dessert with or without a store bought bûche.

Any other changes you would like to make?  Write them down and see which ones would help you to have a great time this year.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Canada's Coach

Success and Fearless Living Coach for Women
Life and Wellness Coach for Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

How to save some time (and energy)

I remember when I made my very first meat pie.  I was newly "coupled" and thought that this was the most wonderful way to spend a Saturday afternoon.  I felt so grown up.  And when I made my first batch of strawberry jam.  Another milestone.  And yes, I continued to make meat pies "tourtières" for many years, although I stopped cutting the meat by hand.  I bought ground meat.  Then, years later, I relaxed my standards and found very good meat pies available in town. There are also very good cakes available and all kinds of goodies.

I do have more time now but I still buy meat pies, preferring to spend my time doing other things.

Coaching challenge: what could you "delegate" during this Season.  Either to your local store or someone else in the family who really wants to bake or cook?  A couple of saved hours here and there to relax, take a long bath, go for a walk or cross-country skiing or swimming or anything you really desire can make a big difference in how you feel.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Canada's Coach

Success and Fearless Living Coach for professional women
Life and Wellness coaching for women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

Wellness during the Christmas Season

With the Holiday Season approaching, you may be one of many starting to find that there is never time.  Shopping, entertaining, cooking, family visiting from out of town.  There is no way you can find time for yourself.

Unfortunately, many put their self-care on the back burner during this Season.  Even  more so if you have not  bought into the importance of exercise and good nutrition 100%.  Yes, 100% buy in.  You see, once you are 100% sold on the importance of exercise and nutrition, it becomes easier to continue even during the Holidays.  But if your commitment is not total, it becomes easier to let go when friends or family say something like " Oh, you can go tomorrow, or eating pizza just for once, we don't see you so often, or just taste my cake, it's so good, watch the late movie with me, just this once... please".

Coaching challenge:  remember how bad you feel when you don't eat right or when you lack sleep.  Then remember how good it feels after a workout or a good swim.  Then decide how you want to feel and make a commitment to yourself, in writing, of how you will put it in action.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Canada's Coach
Life and Wellness Coach for Professionall Women

http://www.eftottawa.com
http://www.canadas-coach.com

Being in good shape helps when you have a medical intervention

Good morning.  I am home recovering from knee replacement surgery done on Sept. 10 - just 6 days ago and I am thriving.  I went under the knife 8 months after the "other" knee was done and with about 7 months of serious swimming - between 120 and 150 minutes a week - and it made a huge difference.  I can do the quads exercise with less pain, I can walk without crutches or a cane, and I take painkillers less frequently than the first time and less frequently than suggested.

We never know when we may need a surgical procedure or face a medical problem.  How healthy and in shape you are will help or make recovery more difficult.

Coaching challenge:  Make a list of what you know you "should" do to be healthier, but don't do.  Maybe it's about nutrition, or exercise or sleep.  Then choose one area to improve this month.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Canada's Coach
Wellness Coaching for Women
Success and Fearless Living Coach for Professional Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

How is your support network?

I read somewhere that "you are the average of the 5 people closest to you".  This is very important to take into consideration when you are embarking on a Wellness Path.  Support during challenging times is crucial.  And when you are about to make changes, it qualifies as challenging times.  If it was not, you would have done it ages ago.

Do you have someone in your life you can call to give you support at this time?  The best person is someone who is already on the Wellness Path.  Someone who can be a role model or a strong believer in a healthy lifestyle.

Coaching challenge:  Make a list of 2 or 3 people who qualify, call them and ask them to be on your support team.


Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Canada's Coach

Success and Fearless Living Coach for Women
Wellness Coaching for Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

After the inventory: the work begins

Once you have taken an inventory of the tolerations and what's not working for you in terms of self-care, the real work begins.  Thinking about exercise will not give you health benefits, on the contrary, thinking about doing something and not doing it increases the level of the stress hormones and causes you another level of health damage.  Not funny.

So, where are you doing well and which areas would benefit you the most?  Nutrition?  Exercise?  Less to do?

Many people advocate tackling one area at a time.  I have another view.  Sometimes you benefit by making small changes in a few areas all at the same time.  Let me explain: if your sleep, nutrition and exercise are all quite bad, and you try to sleep earlier, but do it on a full stomach after a huge greasy meal and you don't exercise, you won't feel better.  However, if you strive to eat a little bit better, to go to bed at a more reasonable time and put in some exercise, even a regular walk, you might see some benefits sooner rather than with the first approach.

Challenge of the week: eat a larger meal at lunch, smaller at dinner and a walk after dinner, then bedtime a half-hour earlier.  Let me know how this works for you.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Canada's Coach

Wellness Coach for Women
Fearless Living Coach for Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

Recharging on a regular basis: take an inventory

Once you have started getting more sleep, you need to take an inventory of what's working in your life - for example you may be faithful to exercising at least 3 times a week, your primary relationship, and what's not working, maybe your nutrition or your finances, or an employee or colleague, or a long commute.  Write everything down - in two columns.  On the minus side, you may want to include the "tolerations" - those sometimes small but no less irritating pests: too much stuff, not enough space, useless or ugly things: clothes, furniture, etc., things that need fixing around the house, clothes that need some repair or need to be given or thrown out, a bad habit (biting your nails), someone else's bad habit, a lack of discipline, not taking time to play, an old mattress.  If you are honest, you will find at least 33, most probably 66 and more of those irritants in your life and at work.    All those small irritations cause what we call stress and unless you tackle them, you will continue to have some valuable energy thrown at the wind.  One valuable point is to write down besides each entry, how long it has gone on.  Don't be surprised when you realize some irritants have been around for a long time.

Take action:  write down that list and tackle one item this weekend - and yes you can tackle more than one if you feel like it.

Marguerite Tennier
Life Coaching for Women
Wellness Coaching for Women
Fearless Living Coach for Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://eftottawa.com

Recharging on a regular basis

If you are like most professionnals, you arrive at your yearly vacation exhausted with just one thought: rest, sleep, vegge out.  Earlier this week, I posted on Linkedin following up on a question by a reader on how to recharge on a regular basis so that you don't end up using your vacation time to rest instead of enjoying and doing activities you would like to do, be it travel, do more sports,visit places of interest,  renovate the house.

Our bodies unlike our houses need repair on a daily basis.  Sleep is the way our bodies and our brains make the necessary repairs so that we can continue work and life without losing too many of our marbles, oops! cells.  And it's not a joke - it's medically proven that without enough sleep, our immune system cannot keep up - I personally experienced pain last winter - nerve caught - and could not sleep more than 3-4 hours a night - no painkiller helped- I became quite sick - caught everything - Novo Virus, colds, bronchitis.  I actually was able to feel that unless something changed and I could get more sleep, my life was in danger.

Sleep does its repair work.  It also regulates our hormones, specifically some hormones that regulate our appetite - not enough sleep and you will most likely eat more.  Not enough sleep makes you more vulnerable to stress and chronic stress elevates cortisol level (from the adrenals) and slows the production of other immunity boosting hormones and in the long run affects all your functions.

How much sleep do you need?  Before the age of electricity, our ancestors - in the early 1900, slept about 10 hours a night.  That means that after dinner, the dishes done, a little bit of reading or music, and they were likely in bed by 8:30, 9:00 p.m. and up by 6:30,7:00 a.m.- That's also the time when families were quite large.

If you have been burning the candle at both ends, it will take some time to regulate your sleep and for your body to find it's equilibrium.  The easiest way is to start going to bed by about a half-hour earlier every 4 or 5 days, until you are in bed at 11 p.m at the latest, ideally 10:00 p.m., and even earlier if you need to get up very early (like 5 a.m.or so).  As you go to bed earlier, make sure you also eat proportionately earlier - a full stomach does not sleep help).

Monitor how you feel after you increase your sleep - write down a number over 10 in your day planner to score your energy level.  The way to see if you have slept enough is to wake up refreshed, ideally without the help of an alarm and to feel energetic throughout the day, until bedtime.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Life coching for women
Wellness Coach for Women
Fearless Living Coach for Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

Why wellness?

I was asked recently why I had such a passion for wellness and healthy living.  My interest in nutrition started many years ago when at 42 or so I was told I had high cholesterol. I still vividly remember hanging up the phone after the call from my doctor and feeling that my body had let me down.  I immediately started researching what I could do to lower my cholesterol numbers.  I soon learned that high cholesterol can be familial and as such, not easy to lower.  However, I started using the Heart and Stroke Foundation Cookbook and within 3 months, I lowered my numbers by 15% - my doctor was quite impressed.  Two years ago, I realized, after being dairy free for 4 days that I had less knee pain - while I have knee osteoarthritis (had one knee replacement surgery last January), less milk resulted in less pain.  A year ago I stopped eating meat - any kind of meat and again my cholesterol took a dip once more.

I firmly believe what science says: our lifestyle makes a huge difference in our health and I continue to make certain I do everyting I can - most of the time - to ensure that I continue to live a healthy life in spite of chronic health issues.

Next time, I will tell you more about myself and my interest in wellness and healthy living.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Life Coach Canada
Wellness Coaching for Women
Fearless Living Coach for Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

Work-life: are you good at keeping clear boundaries?

I pride myself for eating well, sleeping at regular hours - well before midnight and exercising regularly.  I tell how I work about the equivalent of 10 hours a week.  However, I have realized this week, that as I work from home, I have failed miserably at keeping track of all I do for work, on top of the 10 hours: reading, researching, writing, social networking, reading zillions of emails, and probably other stuff I just don't remember now.

While it is not terrible to do all those extras - I actually immensely enjoy the reading and researching and writing and the social networking, I have decided to track my time for the next two weeks, and record everyting I am doing that is work related, every half-hour, from the time I get out of bed to the time I retire at night.

If you too work from home and either feel pulled in all directions or feel the least bit frazzled, I challenge you to record for a week or more, exactly "where the time goes".  Like me, you may want to continue the various activities or, like I plan to, you may want to learn to use the office or the computer or IPhone within certain hours only.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Life Coach for Women
Wellness Coach for Womn
Fearless Living Coach for Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

Pretend you are on vacation

Wouldn't it be nice to be able to take a vacation every week.  Yes every week.  Multiply 2 days X 50 weeks, that's 100 days of vacation a year, without counting your 3 or 4 "official holiday time".  Well, maybe if you are either a single parent or a 2 working parent family, that's a lot to ask.  What about taking 2 days vacation every second week -  that will still give you 50 extra holiday days.  Many of you will say it's impossible.  Well, it is not impossible.  All it takes is some planning and some imagination.  Who said, "what you can conceive, you can achieve"?

What do you do when you are on vacation?  You play, you visit places of interest, you BBQ, you go on a picnic, you read your favorite book, you go to the beach, you go dancing, or see a movie, or a day trip in a little town nearby, well, that's what I like to do -  what do you like to do?

I dare you to 1) choose 4 weekends out of the 8 left before September 1st  2) plan and execute all your errands, washings, shopping, "must do" on weeknights and on the "in-between" weekends so that all the "shoulds" are done, and 3) imagine that the 4 chosen weekends are totally  play and "want to" and "love to" times - Then, like any other vacation, planning is important.  Use a calendar or a day planner or any other mean to fill those extra vacation days with fun stuff.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Life Coach for women in Canada
Wellness Coach for Women
Fearless Living Coach for Women

http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com

Celebrating Canada Day -

I started the day today swimming in a little pond for far from my home.  It was glorious.  A blue heron flew by and started fishing - a good indication that the water is clean -   The body is made to move and being able to get the blood running in the great outdoors does wonder for the body and also for the mind.  It has been shown that when you exercise outdoors, your mood will be elevated more than if you exercise indoors.

Use that is left of this wonderful day and find a park or a lake and enjoy.

Marguerite Tennier, M.A.
Canada's Coach

Wellness and Fearless Living Coach
for Canadian Women
http://www.canadas-coach.com
http://www.eftottawa.com